Don’t be the Twat in a Hat at Gigs

I’ve commented previously about the issues that people wearing hats at concerts cause for their fellow gig goers. Admittedly it was buried deep in one of my least read reviews so the overall message of please don’t wear headgear to live shows may have been missed by the general population.

Unfortunately things seem to be getting worse rather than better. At last night’s Peter Doherty show at the Brudenell Social Club in Leeds I counted nine separate hat wearers at the gig – which may not sound like many but it’s significantly more than the ideal number (zero). In an attempt to stop this plague of hats spreading and becoming a national problem I hereby present five reasons why you shouldn’t wear a hat at gigs.

You are Probably Blocking the View of Someone Standing Behind You

Fun scientific fact: Hats always make the outline of your head bigger (unless squashing down an excessively voluminous hair style). Which means that you are actively blocking the view of the stage for the people standing behind you, thus breaking the first rule of going to gigs which is don’t do something that negatively affects fellow concert goers enjoyment of the evening.

Wearing Hats Inside is Just Plain Rude

I know Rock n Roll is about breaking the rules, but some rules and social norms shouldn’t be toyed with and one of them is the abject and well established rudeness of wearing a hat whilst inside. Which I’m pretty sure sure includes concert venues.

You Are Inside a Gig Venue You Don’t Need Protection from the Elements

The primary purpose of a hat is to give you some form of protection from the elements – whether that’s the cold, the rain or the sun shining in your eyes. None of these are a factor when at a gig. Unless it’s a really cold venue but even that’s not really an excuse.

You are at a Gig not a Fashion Show

Remember, for the vast majority of the evening the only people looking at you will be looking at the back of your head. Hat designers focus their attention on making the fronts rather than the back of their products look good, a particular crime for baseball caps.

Carefully Consider the Message Put Out by the Artist You are Seeing

If still in doubt carefully examine the lyrical output of the artist you are seeing to gauge what their opinion of hats is. If for example you are seeing a performer who sang “There’s fewer more distressing sights than that of an Englishman in a baseball cap” on one of their biggest hits it’s probably a hint that they’d rather not be staring out at a seas of people wearing aforementioned headpieces.

Do you think there’s an excuse for wearing hats at a gig? Leave a comment below to leave your argument